Thinkofone's Blog

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Two kids and a dog…

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This will be a short blog, I promise. But, I had to get this one out, “Two kids and a dog”. That’s what took down Tiger Woods. Forget the women woes, forget the Swedish wife, forget the back surgery, it was “Two kids and a dog”.

Now you might think, what does this have to do with the other. And, I will retort, plenty, or even better, everything. Before Tiger’s coat tails or skirt was raised, he was on top, king of the hill, savior or better yet, the face of modern golf. Never had there been an investment in a athlete, that companies swooned for image wise.

The following words and phrases you cannot deny: “Drive for success”, “Focus”, “Determination”. If you travel at all, remember those airport advertisements by several companies with him swinging at a ball while looking down range (Accenture)? They were amazing, and eye catching. Gatorade, Tag Heuer, Accenture, American Express,  Nike, AT&T, Gillette, and others joined in on the feeding frenzy, and the cash money machine. Golf sales grew by leaps and bounds. Then suddenly, it came crashing down. 18 women and a soon to be Ex-Swedish wife with a Nike golf club ( that you endorsed),  chased your cash money ass out of your own house, ran your butt down, and banged out almost every window in the car as you frantically tried to back out of the driveway with before hitting a tree. In that moment, it is said that there was a 12 billion, and I’ll repeat that, 12 billion dollars lost in revenue and stock price because of that one incident.

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Sorry ladies, I’m not going to blame his libido. You’ll have to forgive me, but when you reach a certain height of monetary, fame, or political status, all bets are off as far as in the mind of the “chosen one”. Given the number of women, Tiger’s sexual preferences were a little mundane, at least he didn’t pass his sperm to the maid and had a post eugenics child by her (Arnold).  Kennedy, FDR, LBJ, Nixon, Clinton, all had sexual encounters with other women,  even recently, President Carter admitted to wayward thoughts of women, and I would liken him to a saint given his humanitarian contribution to the planet and considering he still teaches Sunday school class at his church. He’s by far the best post-President ever.

So, again you ask, what’s up with the “Two kids and a dog”, theory? Well, here it is. Those name companies I named: Accenture, American Express, Gillette, etc all have an image they bought into. They knew he was a playboy before he was married, and they knew they had an opportunity to cash in on his fame before his candle blew out. “Tiger, isn’t it time to settle down?”, was said to him more than once while they crafted an image that would be sellable to the general public. “Don’t you want to raise a family?”, was said to him. “Golf is different Tiger, we have a more family and corporate approach and atmosphere, keep things in perspective, there is a ton of money at stake, and you’re on the way of being the first billionaire athlete”.

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So, what did he do? He got married, to a third tier model, a babysitting female who is Swedish. Of all the women on the planet, a Swedish baby sitter who he met through a fellow golfer.  And soon after that was “Two kids and a dog”. If you don’t believe me, look at the picture. Isn’t that a lovely wholesome picture? But it’s even more sinister in my opinion. Where is the golfer with that deadly stare that everyone feared on Sunday after the 9th hole.  Then the back problems began to start, along with the current drought in winning a major to chase Jack’s record.

Just recently, he took himself out his last golf tournament. What happened? Poor showing and a call for him to get a new swing? Tiger doesn’t need a new swing, or caddy, or swing coach for that matter.  What he needs is a shrink. He’s lost his Mojo. That “Focus” companies paid him to use in their advertisements isn’t there anymore. He’s too busy, worrying about, being around people, there perception of him, and “let me hit the ball and get the hell out of here”.  He is clearly shell shocked.

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So, Tiger, go see a shrink, specifically trained in sports psychology. Get your focus back. It doesn’t matter what people are thinking about you, you have no control over that. The same people who may look at you with discuss will be cheering on the 18th when you’re in the lead.  The wife is gone, you’re raising fine children, but you forgot one thing. Lose the dog dude… Get focused, and make this the greatest comeback on the planet like I know you can….

Two dogs…Perhaps I should rename it two kids and two dogs… dang.

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One comment on “Two kids and a dog…

  1. jmacmoneysack
    February 26, 2015

    Haha great post! Tiger still has to be my favorite golfer and it’s really hard seeing him struggling so hard. He desperately needs to find that focus. I enjoyed your writing

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This entry was posted on February 25, 2015 by in Inner thoughts, Sports and tagged , , , , .
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