Thinkofone's Blog

One person's thoughts may change the world

I wanted Einstein, and I got Skillet….


Well, well,  I was watching CNN, and my goodness, I guess we live in a new world. A woman,  a gay woman, a gay white woman,  who went to a sperm bank, who picked a particular man to be inseminated with his sperm says the sperm bank made a mistake.  How she found out was that after she became pregnant, she and her partner wanted to double down, that is to have her partner inseminated with the same sperm. Wow, wouldn’t that be cool, the same sperm from the same guy!!!

Now, I don’t know what criteria they picked the sperm, but it had to be high quality. I’m sure it was labeled as very vigorous, able to swim very well, signs of being very athletic.  Sperm that comes from a guy who has at least an IQ of 135. Not necessarily handsome, but attractive enough that a gay woman would sleep with him. Blue, yes, blond, or black hair,  of good quality and high standards.

To their surprise, it looks like the sperm bank made a mistake. Instead of getting lot 380, she received lot 330. “Oh, we are sorry mam, it looks like we gave you the wrong lot”.

“What? The wrong lot, WTF?! so who did I get then????”.

“Well mam, it looks like you got 330, which is the lot number for Skillet”.

“Skillet? Who the fuck is Skillet????”.

“Well mam, he’s a nice guy, and he will produce a very nice kid for you, we screened him”.

“By the way mam, Skillet is black”.

“Good lord, you mean to tell me I have to walk around a town of 98% white people, who have just accepted me as gay and living with my gay partner that I fucked a black man? They won’t take me seriously!!!!”.

“I went through great pains to pick the perfect man for sperm donation, he was white and smart, just like me,  I’m going to sue!”


Well the baby is born and low and behold, it’s a biracial baby!!!! Oh goodness, angels cried, the earth shook, my life is over, how can I raise a biracial baby in a town that is 98% white that is the produce of me and Skillet ( Yuk!), and will be raised by two gay women!!!!! How will I get her hair done?

What irony is that? Here you are, engineering a baby for two gay woman, and somehow, natural selection strikes again!!!

Now I’m going to have to give you a little background, Skillet, for those of you who don’t know, is a fictional character, that black guy who may be walking down the street in a nice neighborhood, but seems out of place, with very little means. Skillet is his name. ( Now, if you’re white, please, don’t say that around any black people, unless you refer to this article explaining to you who and what Skillet is). Now, you’re still going to be thought of as reprehensible, but, at least you’ll have a reference.

Now, I will not show the mother or the child, I will not disrespect them by placing their picture in this blog, but, can you imagine the shock this woman must have went through? ( by the way the child is very cute!) Well, sadly, I don’t. The baby is here and now it’s you and your partner’s responsibility to raise her. Forget about what you may feel that it would be too hard to raise a baby in a town that is 98% white. So, you didn’t get Einstein.  Well guess what, most parents won’t. You have about as much of a chance of bearing the perfect child as seeing Jesus.

Frankly, picking a test-tube baby could be worse than a role of the dice. So what, the child’s hair is not like yours and her skin is slightly brown. But, it’s obvious you have little  faith in a “fair and equitable America”, one that will treat your child equally. And that’s what you’re partially suing for, that your child won’t get equal treatment, you know, the same thing that many black people have to face on a daily bases.

Frankly, wouldn’t you be a little suspect that you’re dealing with a sperm bank that does not do anything besides lot numbers written on a piece of paper? What, it’s 2014, no computers??? You’re suing for the wrong thing. You’re suing that you got the wrong sperm, which is justified, but you’re also suing that you can’t raise your child in a community that won’t accept her. Well my dear friend, welcome to the black experience.

Finally, I hate to say this, but I truly believe it is only one thing, you don’t want anyone thinking you fucked a black man, or even worse, picked his sperm to have a child by, and having to explain the fuckup. So, what do you do now, use Skillet’s sperm to impregnate your partner? At least your daughter won’t grow up feeling left out. “Sorry, honey, we picked white sperm for your sister, we could not make the same mistake twice”.

Well I could do more, but I”m done, had to get that one out, but always remember,  sometimes you ask for Einstein, but you get Skillet. Deal with it….

Albert Einstein Sticking Out His Tongue



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This entry was posted on October 2, 2014 by in Inner thoughts, The spoken word and tagged , , , .
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