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Drugs, Sex, Love, and Masturbation…

Drugs…

It was the early part of June, 1979, and I was on my prom night. Just got rid of the limo, and took my girlfriend to a hotel, with a water-bed. I asked her to bring two joints, because, for the first time in my life, I wanted to get high. She brought them because she has easy access to them, her mother and most of her family was in the drug business.

Like President Bill Clinton, I inhaled but did not get high, believe it or not. I inhaled only once. Why? Because my morality kicked in. I didn’t grow up in the drug culture. I was an athlete and always stayed away from drugs. My parents preached against drugs, and I had a very, very strong example of not to do drugs, my brother. At the time, my girlfriend had a pair of 38s and a body to die for (which I thought at that time), so I ended up making love to her for the rest of the evening, I thought I was in heaven.  It didn’t help or hurt that I actually loved her at the time, at least what I interpreted as love back then…. Hmmm.

But let’s analyze what drugs, especially alcohol does for you.  Well first, let me give you my point of view of what drugs are (along with the misuse of alcohol). They are an escape. For some reason, the United States is ground zero for the “war on drugs” and for good reason, we spend a lot of money on it. And we spend a lot of money to escape some realities that we may have either gotten into by our own choice or, exposed to it at an early age and don’t know how to get out of it.

My brother didn’t have it so easy; it wasn’t a choice of morality for him. He made one huge mistake in his life that he could not live down. Drugs, mainly alcohol were an escape for him. It took him away for a brief moment, so that he didn’t have to face reality. That moment was long enough for him to want it more and more. After that, it became an addiction. Something he craved. Something his body couldn’t do without.

While he was going through all of this, I was analyzing him. I talked to a former drug and alcoholic user who was clean and she told me a chilling culmination to his issues and said, “He is going to require an act of God in order to get him out of his addiction, otherwise, he’s going to die”.  To which she was right. She was right about “an act of God”. Many drug and alcoholic users are beyond the point of being able to quite on their own. Their body craves for it. The fix, the brew, the drink, the smoke, the craving to feel that high, and take away the mental anguish and now, physical pain. The pain comes from not taking care of their health, which is now depleted, and brain cells getting burned alive.

When he died, he died not from alcohol abuse, but, from not having the ability to face his regrets, his true reality; his body was just too tired and too spent to maintain itself anymore. He may have died from sclerosis of the liver, but he died from the mental pain from not being able to deal with his past transgressions. He fed his faults by denying them for that brief moment of not being accountable for him. He drank to escape it all, for a few moments in time.

Those who can do drugs and alcohol in large volumes and quantities either are rich and can afford it, or, are dead. 

Sex…

Sex on the other hand, is something very similar to the stimuli of drugs and alcohol. A very strong sense of euphoria can accompany the act either through the process of having sex, or, the moment of what some may call the ultimate stimulation: that moment or feeling one gets between the point of no return – right before the act of Cumming, and the seconds during the actual act.  Although I have never been high, or, have only been officially drunk once in my life (hmm, lying on my bedroom floor in my Armani suit and didn’t care because I crawled from the bathroom after praying to the porcelain god) I’m assuming getting high achieves similar results as the stimuli of sex, not lying on the floor in a suit after throwing up.

I know, I’m making sex sound like a biological function that is reserved for animals in the spring time with the sense or urge to reproduce without anything to do with feelings.  But let’s get real; those of you who will read this have had carnal sex. Sex just for the sake of it. Sex just to feel it.  Sex for sex and not for procreation. Sex because you were attracted to someone in a carnal way.  Sex because you like the way it makes you feel, with a particular person…. Maybe.  Come on, sex in a way that would make you blush at this very moment.

Western society sex is transfixed upon two thing, denial and copulation. Denial because you cannot be purely sexual in society without being somewhat responsible.  That is unless you are Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods got into trouble because he had too much sex while being married to a woman he had to marry for the sake of being bought and paid for. Paid for by companies to use his image and promote his prowess of the golf course and translate that in the precision of Tag Heuer. The drive of Assensure.  The focus of Gatorade.  The saintly hood of wife, family, and a dog… Translation: stability.

Tiger’s image promoted stability, which also points to denial. Denial of your inner yearnings, temtations, desires, and wants. His presence alone could get him all the pussy, ooops, I mean sex he wanted. He wouldn’t even have to say much.  All sports have them, they are called  groupies. These are woman, very, very attractive women, who will do anything “sexually” with you for their own personal agenda. Ervin “Magic” Johnson blamed his contraction of Aids on a woman.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a long time Magic Johnson fan but, can he really say he got it from a woman as if she passed it to him from a deck of cards she had dealt him? No, he was satisfying his desire for sex with many sex partners.  Tiger Woods could not deny the many options that were thrown in front of him. Too much sex and not enough will power. Not enough focus. Not enough stability. If he was single he would have been labeled a ladies’ man and that would have been the end of it. But, it flies in the face of what companies wanted from him and paying him for, which was stability. So much for denial. Which is a good lead in for…copulation.

 Copulation is sex. It is the yang of denial. It is a technical name for the joining of two individual or two animals. Animals copulate for the preservation of the species, the rest of the year is usually spent maintaining your turf, avoided being eaten, being the eater so you’re usually chasing something to eat, or storing food to last the winter so you can copulate next year.  Religion spends a good deal of time and effort to control your desire to copulate. This is the other thing western society if fixed upon.  The more controls religion tries to place upon denying one of their inner natures, the more problems occur. Religion usually takes too harsh of denial, which is a similar view of what corporation, multi-national corporations and catholic priest take, which is a complete denial of your sexuality unless you play by the strict rules.  So, it is a tough balance, this thing we call sex. But, it’s also like a drug. For those few seconds I spoke of earlier, similar to taking a drug, it presents you with a feeling of euphoria, and takes you away or to another place, for those few precious moments. And after that, don’t you want to experience those few precious moments again? Do sex and drugs have a connection?

 Love….

Love transcends sex. It’s not about sex when it comes to love. Love is wanting, yearning, a desire to be with a special person, affection, an everlasting imprint on the mind, and, according to western society, only that person. If you have sex with “that” person, and you tell them you love them, and then it’s not sex, it’s an act of love, to which I agree with. Otherwise, it’s not love, it’s only sex… Right? Do you see what I’m getting at here?  So, according to western society, you can only love one individual of have sex with.  Right? And does loving someone you have promoted from just having sex with instill stability, to which society demands?  Love requires a whole blog within itself. For me, I am personally redefining love. Love can be an individual that defies explanation.  Hmmm, Love…..

Masturbation…

Different studies have found that masturbation is frequent in humans. Alfred Kinsey’s 1950’s studies on US population have shown that 92% of men and 62% of women have masturbated during their lifespan.[16] Similar results have been found in a 2007 British national probability survey. It was found that, between individuals aged 16 to 44, 95% of men and 71% of women masturbated at some point in their lives.

Interesting statistics. I know, this may be a touchy topic. If you’re masturbating a lot it may mean you’re not getting sex, you have a very high libido, or, you’re not satisfied with what you’re getting which goes back to love and sex. Can or have you ever have gotten tired of having sex with the one of love? I’ll save that one for later.

 Masturbating is like being in the Matrix. You can go there and be whatever you want. You can do whatever you want, or observe. You can think up the wildest things in your mind and get off on them.  You can be the most stable, reliable, focused individual on the planet and come up with some of the most vivid imaginative forms of sex or visual simulation while masturbating.  And somehow, it’s perfectly fine! (Thank goodness because I can’t even describe some of the stuff I come up in with my mind). Men have more of a visual mind, so it’s part of their psyche, that’s why there is such a difference in percentage between men and woman. In addition, men have a physical tank that needs to be released, so it’s also natural. Sperm is being produced in your body most of your life so it has to come out, either through a wet dream, intercourse, or masturbation.

 Women on the other hand, which shows through the statistic above, have a different agenda. Although more than 50% of women have masturbated, and it’s higher than I expected, it’s 71%, which equates to 20%+ percentage points less than men. Woman ‘Feel’ while men visualize. OK I’m not going to speak to why woman’s percentages are lower, because, I’m a man! I’m not a woman, and I don’t know these things!

 Is masturbation sex? If so, can you elevate masturbation to copulation with yourself? If you masturbate and think of a woman/man you know, is that fornication? After masturbating and coming back to your senses do you feel guilty? Is it because you had sex or made love during your masturbation? Can you make love while masturbating? If masturbation is so bad, then why is there a multi-million dollar industry for sex toys, which are made in China?

This leads me to my final analysis:

A -Drugs and excessive alcohol are bad and addiction usually ends badly.

B – Sex is similar to drugs without the hang-ups or addiction but lacks western society social stabilities it demands.

C – Love transcends sex. And you can have Love without sex, but, you can also have sex without love as well, which leads back to B.

D – Masturbation is similar to drugs and sex without the issues of drugs and can fill the need of sex but not love, which leads back to B.

Dang, B might win this one…. Peace…

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One comment on “Drugs, Sex, Love, and Masturbation…

  1. msbeancounter
    June 13, 2010

    This was quite an interesting read to go along with my morning coffee…

    DRUGS:

    I agree with you that an individual’s state of mind is the main factor in someone who becomes addicted to drugs / alcohol… My personal relationship with drug addicts and alcoholics goes way back.

    Let me start with my mother who was an alcoholic, it took me many years (well into my 20’s) before I really understood the reasoning behind my mothers drinking. Almost all of my childhood was spent around her alcoholism, but it was May 1971 when she succumb to the bottle and I lost my mother, and it was ANGUISH that created the path for her, the Anguish of losing my sister Isabel (Liz to me) at the age of 18 to a drunk driver. A drunk driver who drove head on into the car that my sister was a passenger in, sending her through the windshield, to lay in the middle of the road where she died. I often thought that when we buried Liz, that we buried our mother too, because she was never ever the same. This woman was totally self destructive and for many years I could not understand how she could turn to liquor when that was the same thing that killed my sister. I remember people would say, it was her way of escaping from her pain, but to me it only made her pain worse, it only enhanced her ANGUISH and made my life a living hell. And it is kind of funny because my siblings and I would say we would never be like her but in some form they all succumb to their own addictions… and it would be my much older siblings and I who would stand clear it. I think they were able to escape it because they were all married and no longer lived in the house when Liz died, and I escaped it because I was the youngest and spent the longest time in that chaotic world, and once I was out I was never going to return. I remember watching my brothers and sister get high, and drink and although they do not partake in that mess anymore, if you were ask them about those days they would deny it. I remember when I was in high school and my sister gave me a joint and after two hits of it I told her this is not doing anything for me and she laughed at me. That same sister can not go a day without drinking, especially when she gets home from work and now her daughter is following suit. If I were to tell my sister that she is an alcoholic she would deny it and something like “I don’t drink all day long, I just have a couple of drinks at night” and my reaction would be WTF ever because sister or not my days of taking care of drunks ended a long time ago that’s why I had to send her daughter back to her. Turn them over to God and do a lot of praying!

    That act of God you mentioned is so true… Because only God could have pulled my mother through that and don’t get me wrong I have tied on a few good ones myself, but it did not become a crutch for me, to the point where I would need a drink (or as my family would say A TASTE) everyday to get me through.

    SEX…

    Sex for men and women is totally different… for women it can be hit or miss and with the wrong person it could be definite miss… LOL… but I won’t even try to speak for other women because we all view sex differently. Just like there are men out there that have sex just for the sake of having sex, there are women out there that do the same thing… Sure you can meet someone and be totally attracted to that person and once you have sex with them that attraction can go right out the window, but then again it’s about an individual view of sex. Sex for some requires some kind of intimacy or some form of a connection, for some it’s mental and others purely physical. Sure most people have had those moments where you have had some crazy encounter, where you meet someone and go at it like rabbits and then the next day say “WTF was I thinking”

    Again sex is different for men and women we release differently, in most cases a man can have sex, cum and feel the ecstasy of having sex… For women it’s different, there is a little bit more required for us to reach that point. But in the end when you do have that over the top, toe curling, hair on the back of your neck standing sex or precious moment as you put it can leave you with the feeling of wanting to experience those moments again. Would I say that sex and drugs have a connection, MAYBE…? Drugs can control your life, consume your life and end your life… and in today’s society for some sex can do the same thing…

    LOVE:

    You are right love does transcend sex… nor does sex necessarily promote love and I think people confuse love and sex. I hear women all the time say they had sex with a man and they are in love… Excuse me, but fuck that… they had good sex and are in love with that mans Johnson… some man brought their little man in the boat to the surface, made them scream to the heavens and call out for GOD and that’s it…. Where’s the rest of it, where’s that connection that two people have when they are in love. Love can be intense, it can give you that feeling of euphoria and there is no comparing the two. You are right this does require a blog all of its own…LOL…

    MASTERBATION:

    Interesting… but I do think some women are visual people and I think they also can tend to have vivid imaginations, they do not like to admit that they do, but they do.

    In today’s society there are a lot of women out there that have a special drawer somewhere in their house that holds their little secrets, secrets that have kept Adam and Eve and all the other adult toy shops in business. There are a hell of a lot of Brookstone massagers being sold and its women that are buying them, and believe me they are enjoying the option of low speed and high speed . . . but is masturbation sex… I would not say that, it’s individual feeling the need to get off or just release a little sexual tension, and I don’t think that because an individual thinks about a man or woman in the process is a form of fornication or sex. Thinking and Doing are different things and I think people have too many hang-ups.

    Okay so I have gone on way too much in my response…

    I will agree with you on B – Sex is similar to drugs without the hang-ups or addiction but lacks western society social stabilities it demands.

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This entry was posted on June 13, 2010 by in Inner thoughts.
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